K£LS (kels21) wrote,

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The last few days have been hard. Only because I've put myself in a bad situation and I can't get out of it. Not for awhile...

We're broke. The bills are piling up and we don't know when they'll get paid. Our credit cards are maxxed. We were both careless with our money in the past and it's finally kicking us in the ass. I knew it was coming, I was just too blind to realize it could really be this bad. We had to borrow $80 from Greg's parents for food. Thank God we have a huge bag of cat food, cuz otherwise Kaeyah and Sierra would starve. I'm more worried about them than myself. I feel like a Mom more than ever right now.

I haven't heard back from Vicki at Zack's, so I'm assuming she's not going to hire me. The manager at the Victoria Inn said he'd call this week but it's already what, Thursday? And still no word. Gr. Like if you're not going to hire me, at least have the decency to call and thank me for my time. I worked there for 2 hours on Saturday, getting them a bunch of sales and shit and I get nothing in return. Not even a fucking phone call. So much for having a positive attitude eh? I put myself out there, tried sooo hard to impress them [and thought I did..] and then I get shafted. My Mom says I should call them tomorrow and ask if they've made a decision yet [basically play dumb], and if they tell me they've decided not to hire me, I can ask what I did *wrong* or what I could've improved on. So at least I'll know for next time. Next time I apply at an old ladies clothing store. :/ [Hmm, a little hostile are we?]

I've been looking online [at hrdc] for jobs, but there's not too much to choose from. Either you need a DZ license [for truck-driving] or you need to have a college/university diploma. I think I'm going to apply to the ones you need a diploma for anyway, just because. I'll have more of a chance if I apply then I would if I didn't, right? I applied at a greenhouse on Arthur Street near the airport and the Superstore [again]. Tommorow I'm going to call Strawberries, get my ROE [separation slip] and get my E.I. rolling along. They were supposed to have it ready 10 days after I quit, but they haven't called or anything. To be honest, I'm not surprised.

I've been hearing a lot of "I told you so's" and you know what? That's ok, because this was MY mistake, and I'm the one who has to suffer because of it. I am not going to ask my parents for money because they've given me enough money. More than I even realized. I talked to my Mom tonight on the phone and she told me I am always welcome to come home. Which is awesome, but I don't want to resort to that. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I already feel like that now, because Greg has to pay the bills for us both. I'm putting him in a stressful situation because I can't find a job. So obviously I'm not looking hard enough. Obviously I need to get out there and get whatever job I can get. And that's what I'm going to do! No more of this "handing two resumes out" shit. I'm going out on Friday and applying everywhere I possibly can. If I have to work at Robin's Donuts for a couple of months til' I find something better, then so be it. So to everyone who says "I told you so", I hope you will see that I am trying to make things better for myself and my boyfriend and our life together, and I will make something of myself. I can promise you that...

I think I need some of those "self-help" tapes or something. Heh.

Okay it's time for this kid to get some sleep. I told Crystal I'd go with her to her doctor's appointment tomorrow and it's at 9 a.m., so yeah. If I don't go to bed now, I'll end up sleeping right through to tomorrow afternoon! Hehe. And I'm not even kidding..

Night guys.


[EDIT]How ironic. As soon as I went to post this entry, a pop-up came up saying "Need Cash? Click here to get money fast!" Uhh. Weird? *clicks the pop-up* Hehe just kidding. I know how those things work. Interest up the "ying-yang"![/EDIT]
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